A woman refused to take in her husband’s little sister after their father died because she and her husband had agreed to be childless.
A Reddit post that was locked twice revealed the dilemma of a man who wanted to adopt his sister, but his wife didn’t. The original poster (OP) was ready to do anything for her, but his wife wasn’t on the same page.
The OP and his wife had been married for two years when the OP’s father passed away from pancreatic cancer, leaving his sister orphaned. The OP’s sister was much younger than him, and he felt more like a dad to her than a brother.
The OP’s little sister was eleven when she lost her father. The OP and his wife had never had any kids and had no plans to have any in the future. That’s where the problem started.
What Happened Between the OP and His Wife?
What happened between the OP and his wife? The OP and his family were grieving their loss, and they had to make some tough choices. But these choices led to some unexpected conflicts. The OP shared:
“My father passed away from pancreatic cancer. There are 2 options for my sister: either I take her in or my uncle [dad’s brother]. So we asked her who she wanted, and she chose me. Here is the problem: My wife and I decided that we did not want kids.”
Both men understood that it was a big decision and let the little girl pick where she wanted to live. The little girl chose to stay with the OP.
But the problem got worse when the OP’s wife made it clear that she didn’t want kids and that taking his sister in would mean that they had a kid. The wife said that since the little girl’s uncle could take her, they didn’t have to.
The OP said that since his sister had no parents left after their father’s death, he wanted to make sure she was okay, and since she wanted to be with him, he wasn’t going to make her stay with their uncle.
The decision caused a lot of tension between the girl’s brother and his wife. But after some time, the OP told his wife that he was going to keep his sister with them no matter what. He also told her they would split up if she couldn’t deal with it. After that, they stopped talking for a while.
The OP then updated the post, saying he and his wife had talked again and agreed to part ways. He added:
“She said you really are choosing your sister over me.”
The OP told his wife that he was done with the discussion and that she could think whatever she wanted. He also said that his sister was his main concern at that moment.
That was the last conversation the OP and his wife had. He also said, “I have been living with my sister for a week now. Being a single father-ish brother is definitely challenging, but I am really enjoying it.”
What Did People Say?
The OP’s post sparked a lot of reactions from people, with many supporting his decision to adopt his sister and calling his wife selfish for not welcoming a young girl in need.
One person gave a useful tip, saying that the OP and anyone else who had children should have a will that stated who would look after their children if they died.
Another person shared their own story, saying that they had to live with their half-sister after their parents died, and they felt unwanted there. They ran away when they were 15, and their half-sister and her husband didn’t even report it.
This commenter said it was better that the OP and his wife parted ways because his sister would sense it if she was not wanted. Another person who was childless said they would have left the wife too.
Some people defended the OP’s wife, saying she was honest about her limits and couldn’t handle a child with such a huge trauma. Another said the OP’s wife didn’t sign up to be a mother, and taking care of his sister would make her one.
Another person said they would normally side with the wife, but they lost respect for her when she said the OP was choosing his sister over her. They thought that was unfair to the OP and his sister.